Do I Measure Up? Don’t Let Self-Doubt Sabotage You!

Do I Measure Up_

Do you ever just feel “stuck”? If you do, you’re not alone. That’s exactly where I’ve been the last couple of weeks. Often, when I find myself in this situation, it’s because I’ve started doubting myself. I’ll have my clear path marked out, I’ll be making some good progress, and then wham! I’m knocked completely off the path and can’t seem to get back on it.

That has certainly been the case with my blog these last couple of weeks. I got in my own head about whether my writing style is too simplistic and if I really had any business being here in the blogosphere among *real* writers, but I finally realized a few days ago that the ability to write and speak simply is actually my gift. I’ve spent years breaking down sometimes-complex ideas into simple, actionable steps.

As I told my friend a few weeks ago, I’m not a writer, I’m a sharer. I learn something new and immediately want to share it with others. Simple may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but for some, it may be exactly what they need.

Allowing my self-doubt to tell me that I didn’t measure up, that maybe I didn’t belong here, temporarily immobilized me. Since in this case it was writing, that was no big deal, but what if it had been with something big like my wellness plan? What if I had gone backward simply because I doubted myself?

Too often, we allow self-doubt to completely sabotage us. We start to compare ourselves to others or second-guess our abilities, and the next thing we know, we’re stuck. When you live with fibromyalgia or any other chronic illness, you already have obstacles in the way of your progress; you definitely don’t need to be your own obstacle.

So what do we do when the self-doubt starts to creep in? How do we stop it before it incapacitates us? Here are a few things that may help:

  • Take stock of your strengths. Sometimes just realizing how strong we are in certain areas helps us realize that our self-doubt has no basis.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others. This is easier said than done, but each of us is created differently, and your life experiences have uniquely qualified you for your journey.
  • Figure out one small step that you know you can take successfully, and take it. Once you’ve taken that first step, subsequent steps, even if they’re more difficult tasks, will be easier to take. Each step forward builds confidence and helps leave the doubt behind.
  • Talk about it with someone you trust. Sometimes we just need to get out of our own heads, and often, once we voice our doubts, we realize things aren’t as bad as we thought.

We may all suffer from self-doubt occasionally, but we don’t have to let it sabotage us. We can deal with it before it becomes a big boulder on our path forward, and keep moving forward in our journey.

Do you ever have moments of self-doubt? What have you found most helpful for dealing with it?

Blessings,

~Terri

32 comments

    1. Thanks for sharing Matthew. Unfortunately, self-doubt knows no age…. I completely understand about playing it safe rather than stepping out in faith. You are definitely not alone in that, but hopefully, we can start taking small steps forward into God’s will even if it does involve some risk. Blessings to you!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Great post! I can relate and still sometimes struggle with self doubt. But the last couple years I have been doing better with it and moving forward luckily.

    I am in the process of creating a new blog (a newer updated edition and more focused than the blog I have right now. Felt I need an refresh for many reasons especially now I have a set goal or ideas etc) and there have been times I am on a role getting it ready to publish and share. Then I hit bumps in the road or think I am explaining or doing something wrong and it isn’t working. I get frustrated and it can throw me off at times second guessing things I shouldn’t be second guessing. Then I need to take a huge break until I come back with a better/clearer mindset. Lol.

    Thanks for sharing this and I think you are a great writer. Simplicity actually can often be the beauty of writing. Readers often actually don’t want to read something that is too complexed anyways, becaause they just sit there in aw like “what are you trying to explain” “hold on I have to google this word/sentence” etc. There are many posts I have come across that if I have to spend too much time trying to read between the lines, or understand what the person is trying to explain than I stop reading the post actually or whatever it may be. It is upon many writing tips “Make it simple.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing, and for your kind words! I’m glad you’ve found that taking a break helps you. A small break helps me too sometimes, but if I’m not careful I let that small break turn into a permanent one. 😊 I wish you all the best on your new blog!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re very welcome. Yes taking breaks are always nice especially when I am being hard on myself, helps to step back refocus and like join reality again. Lol. Glad small breaks can help you too sometimes. Yes I am the same way! Though I often need longer breaks or downtime than most, I need to be careful how I balance it out with everything as it can easily become permanent. My autism causes many challenges like I need my ‘alone time’ to unwind, a place to be my true self a person I don’t often show in public, if I don’t get this time it causes meltdowns, crashes, really bad anxiety etc, but on the other side if I spend too much down time I revert too much back to myself and makes it harder to go back into the real world. Sometimes it really all just depends, I can go months with little breaks, but normally if I am not taking care of myself it hits a breaking point, then I can be defeated/depressed/complete shut down for a week or more sometimes because I wasn’t taking care of my mental health. It is different for everyone though, but I always stress if we spend time on our mental health first and make sure it’s being taken care of, the rest should fall into place, or at least that’s the hope! Thank you for the good wishes and take care!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for sharing this fabulous post Terri! I can tell you I am horrible with always doubting myself. I doubt if I make dinner right so that it tastes good, I doubt if I clean the house well enough, I doubt if I chose the right colors to paint in the house we will be moving into soon and I always doubt if my writing is good enough.
    I think you are a fantastic writer and an amazing person all together!!! I hope you had a great day today and I hope tomorrow is just as great!! Sending you much love and comfort, always!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for sharing Alyssa! Isn’t it amazing how much we let self-doubt get into our heads? I don’t know why we think we have to be perfect, but somehow we get it into our minds that if we’re not doing things perfectly we’re not doing them well. Thank you for your kind words – you’re the one who’s amazing! Love and hugs to you sweet friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Self-doubt and the resulting ability for self-sabotage can be so destructive, yet also very hard to overcome. Sometimes, I don’t think we even realise we’re doing it; it becomes second nature. And just for the record, in case you doubt yourself again, you are a writer because you write – you share, but you write what you share in a way that is relatable, compassionate & authentic – and I love your blog, as do your others readers & followers! If you find yourself self-doubting in this regard, we’ll make sure that you think otherwise! Great post Terri, thank you for writing it! 🙂
    Caz xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww Caz, you’re too kind! You’re so right about self-doubt being destructive and sneaky — often we don’t realize it has been affecting us until we’re completely incapacitated. Thank you so much for always being so supportive; I feel incredibly privileged to know you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nobody has ever said that to me before, I honestly feel touched, thank you for saying that! I’m privileged and so happy to know you too – thank you WordPress! 🙂 Take care Terri, be kind to yourself! x

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I have been in complete shutdown mode, Terri! I got a few blogs out that I ‘hoped’ were good enough but I have stalled on everything, even my classes. AND you nailed the reason, self-doubt. Which leads to stress, and in my case I get sick with a cold, then the flu… then I can’t find my saddle so I just never get back on the horse! I’ve heard January, especially the third week, in January is the most depressing and I’d have to agree.

    For me…ordering a new planner helps, cleaning out old files and getting ready to start anew… it took me three hours on Amazon to pick a planner and order bookends but I made a decision and got ‘r dun!

    Great post and don’t doubt yourself, you are a gift to the blogosphere!~Kim

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for sharing Kim. I’m so sorry you’ve been going through the same thing I have with being stuck. Your posts have been great though, especially the one about fibro fog.😊 It’s amazing what a difference doing one little thing (like ordering a new planner) can make, isn’t it? I hope you’re “back on the horse” now. Thank you also for your kind words — you’re always such an encouragement to me! Hugs to you!

      Like

  5. Terri,
    It is interesting that we have a similar theme this week, self doubt….emotional capacity! 🙂

    With Fibro brain fog…simplicity is the best…I think we need to blog how we talk…not complicated just everyday chat language with a friend…which you do!
    You were the first to welcome me to the blogging community, that is special! Thank you!
    Jennifer

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks Terri for sharing this. I definitely agree that particularly with a chronic illness we’ve got enough obstacles without getting in our own way but sometimes it’s tricky to realise we are self sabotaging. I find talking it through with someone positive helpful as it can really help to change my perspective and mindset. I love your style of writing – lots of actionable steps and relatable thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

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